Sobering in MN...
ICE has reached our souls
Many of you know that I have been sober for more than three years now. Forty months ago I walked into my first AA meeting and my life has changed dramatically since. At our meetings, we share our fears; our anxieties; our joy and our sorrows. We are there to support each other and keep each other sober.
At the beginning of each meeting I’ve ever attended, we read a statement expressing the mission of AA. In that statement we expressly agree to leave our causes and politics at the door as we enter the church. We value the safety of that as we share our common stories and help each other find the spiritual growth we need to fight addiction.
Like most Saturday mornings when I’m in MN, at eight o’clock this morning I was out the door of my home in Edina and off to my home group in St. Paul, being sure to get there a few minutes early so I can catch up with my dear friends. It’s an amazing meeting of about 80 guys. We share our problems and look together for solutions so that we can all stay sober.
We are brothers; a family in a safe room free from the outside noise for an hour each week.
Today was a terrific meeting with many deep and meaningful shares about life’s struggles and how we can most effectively meet those challenges.
At the end of the meeting someone announced that we should all stay clear of Eat Street in South Minneapolis; that something bad had happened. There it was. We all knew at once what he meant: ICE had broken through the safe sanctuary of our meeting. It couldn’t be ignored.
We found a new sober as we exited the church together and worried what was happening outside. One friend commented on what great shares there were today; men stood up to talk about their deepest anxieties and how best we can deal with them. It was clear that the violent behavior and mistrust of ICE had permeated our safe space to make room for an anxiety that did not belong in that room and yet we are all feeling it.
Eat Street was on my way home. Mayor Frey had been on MPR asking citizens to stay away from the volatile scene that has now exploded on our TV screens. I had no choice but to drive by, and I saw a fucking war zone outside the doors of some of our favorite eateries. Smoke pluming in the air; the pungent smell of tear gas, whistles blaring and people standing with hands in the air observing and filming yet another killing by our federal government.
I know the rest of America is watching. I know you’re proud of our resilience, our love of peace over violence. That, with heavily armed and violent masked thugs in our face, we have stayed calm and shown love is greater than hate. But, this tyranny has permeated the most sacred parts of our private lives. We live with the dread of what’s next.
We live in fear.
My fear is that we are running out of time for peace.
That should scare the shit out of everyone, because I am ever an optimist.
One day at a time. Very literally. If the entire day is too much, take it in hours. Look for what is literally the next thing you need to do and do it and then go on to the next thing. One at a time. It’s hard to not jump into what is happening and the fear all around you, and it is hard feeling trapped. It is ok to let it go and turn it over. It isn’t a habit yet, but that’s ok too. Focus on the tiny things you control—eating breakfast, telling people you love them, calling your sponsor—and let everything else go. The world may not be safe, but you can keep your sobriety safe and that is valuable and it is enough.